I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize