You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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