I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize