I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
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I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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