just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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