My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
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My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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