She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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