Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
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Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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