someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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