Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize