I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize