WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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