I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
BRING THE BAGELS
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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