Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
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At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
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Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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