Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize