Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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