we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
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What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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