Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Shame - the story of my life.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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