Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
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woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
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Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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