Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize