if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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