i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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