He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I supernannyed him into submission
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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