idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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