I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize