I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
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OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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