I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
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A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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