3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize