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When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
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