So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize