put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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