Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize