"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize