you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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