Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize