yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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