called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This house was built for laser tag.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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