Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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