we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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