it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize