you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize