i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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