Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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