i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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