Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
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normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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