He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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