Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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