peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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