we have pet lesbian snakes
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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