the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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